How to Beat Halloween

5 min read

It’s that time of year again. Only this Halloween, you won’t be trick or treating. You’ll be trapped in your house with Haddonfield’s local boogeyman – Michael Myers. So if you don’t want to be stabbed, crushed, or completely eviscerated this year, stick around. We’ll bring you up to speed and break down Michael’s most iconic kills, what mistakes his victims made, and how they could have survived.
Forty years ago, Michael Myers escaped from the Smiths Grove Sanitarium and went on a killing spree in the sleepy town of Haddonfield, Illinois. The sole survivor was 17-year-old Laurie Strode, who, with the help of Dr. Sam Loomis, defeated the Shape in 1978.
For 40 years, the trauma of that Halloween has haunted Laurie, and she’s spent the rest of her life preparing for the day Michael would return. With Michael on the rampage again, Laurie has managed to stay alive, but how would you do? What mistakes did his victims make?
How could you do things differently? And how might acid finally put Michael down for good?

1. Don’t be a hero

Starting right where the first film ended, a young Frank Hawkins pursues Michael with his partner, Pete McCabe. They make it to the old Myers’ house, where 15 years earlier, a 6-year-old Michael savagely murdered his sister in her bedroom. While Pete is investigating that very room, Michael gets the drop on him. He proceeds to savagely attack the police officer and put him into a rear choke hold. What should Pete do in this situation? First, he should turn his head to the side. This will stop Michael from cutting off his airway. Next, he should try to flip Michael over his shoulder or even stomp on his feet as hard as he can. Sure, the jury is still out on whether you can kill Michael, but we know he can be stunned. Frank enters the room and tries to save his partner. He opens fire but shoots his partner in the neck, killing him and allowing Michael to escape. But before Michael can flee the scene, he’s corned by more police outside. Frank and Pete made two major mistakes here. Stuff you think they would have covered in police academy. Frank shouldn’t have opened fire since Michael was using Pete as a human shield. With a hostage in the way, the chances of hitting Michael are slim. And as we know, Michael was captured in the very next scene, which means backup was on the way. Had Frank and Pete simply waited for backup, Pete would have survived that awful Halloween in 1978.

2. Work as a team.

Leading up to Halloween Kills, Michael has escaped and begun terrorizing Haddonfield once again. His killing spree leads him to the home of Laurie Strode, who has finally turned the house into a dangerous trap designed for one thing – to kill Michael Myers. With the help of her family, Laurie manages to trap Michael in the cellar before setting the entire house on fire. When the firefighters arrive at the scene, they’re brutally massacred by Michael. The biggest mistake the firefighters made was trying to take on Michael one by one instead of working as a team. Teamwork is crucial to successful firefighting. When trying to extinguish a fire, each task is dependent on another. For example, while one team puts water on the fire and tries to ventilate the building, another team handles a thorough search and rescue. Teamwork makes the dream work, but because they all took turns facing Michael, the firefighters were, uh, extinguished, one by one.

3. Finish the job.

With Michael on the loose again, the citizens of Haddonfield took note and formed a mob. Alright, we’re getting somewhere. Ready to take their town back, the townspeople surround Michael and viciously take him down. For about 30 seconds. Yeah, this is Michael Myers we’re talking about, so he’s obviously going to get back up. First, the mob should have used the guns they brought to the fight to shoot Michael repeatedly. Instead, they used baseball bats and knives, and one lady even brought an iron. They should have finished the job before letting their guard down. With a group this large, you’d think they would come up with a better plan. Instead, they should have gotten creative by luring Michael into a tub of acid. Fluoroantimonic acid if we want to get specific. Fluoroantimonic acid is 20 quintillion times stronger than sulfuric acid. In short, it’s the strongest superacid in the world. In theory, if you could lure Michael into a tub of this stuff, it would melt him to the point where there’s no way he could get back up. Congrats! You lived through another Halloween!