How to Survive Jurassic Park

4 min read

Footsteps boom. Rings ripple through your water. They’re getting louder. A T-rex is coming for you. Its mouth is open with horrifying teeth ready to tear you to shreds. For years people have debated if Jurassic Park would be possible using cloned dinosaurs from preserved dino DNA. And it is, in theory. Scientists found fragments of dino DNA in the cartilage of a 70 million-year-old fossil. Though not enough to clone a dinosaur.

Just like in the movie, the scientists of Jurassic Park located on Isla Nubar can’t grow a dinosaur from scratch, but they could theoretically combine dinosaur DNA with compatible modern animals. So watch out for giant, killer chickens. How could you outsmart a raptor? Why should you leave the pistol at home? What makes water your best escape route?

Step 1. Run. Fast.

Some of the scariest dinosaurs are carnivores. That means they will eat you. If the dinosaurs escape their enclosures, you should run away from them as fast as possible. A Jurassic Park T.rex can run about 40 km/h (25 mph). So a head start could only help.

The idea that a T.rex can only see movement is a myth. They have excellent vision and an even better sense of smell. So get as far away as you can. As for herbivores, they’re no less dangerous. In the movie, herbivores are depicted as calm, gentle creatures. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Herbivore dinosaurs would be extremely territorial and aggressive, like modern hippos. Do not try to pet them.

Step 2. Shoot to Kill

Dinosaurs aren’t bulletproof. Guns would work on them. But like any large animals, they are tough. So if you try to put a dino down with force, use large caliber bullets. Smaller ballistics will have no effect. And make sure you hit your target. Gunshots are loud and could attract a lot of unwanted attention.

Step 3. Get Inside

In the event of a breakout, the safest thing to do is get inside. Look for dino-proof structures in the park that have reinforced doors and windows. If you’re stuck in the open, a vehicle with a sturdy roof would be your safest bet. Despite the clever girls depicted in the movie, velociraptors can’t manage door handles. They have inflexible wrists, more like what you’d find with chickens.

Dinosaurs also don’t hunt for sport, so if you make it tough to eat you, they’ll most likely move on. And absolutely do not head for anything they can easily stomp or crush. So no hiding in the toilet stall.

Step 4. Get Off the Island

You’ve been trapped on Isla Nublar surrounded by oversized cloned animals that definitely do not want you there. You need to get to the mainland. Fast. Runways and helipads will be taken over by creatures that weigh 10 times more than your car. Do you think you can get this thing to move out of the way? Head for the docks and find yourself anything that floats with a motor attached. Isla Nublar is hundreds of kilometers from its nearest neighbor, so it means you have a long trip ahead.

Fortunately for you, even though researchers think meat-eaters like the T.rex enjoyed the occasional dip, they wouldn’t have the stamina or speed to keep up with a boat on open water. Now you can enjoy the view of Jurrasic Park from a safe distance. Some of its prehistoric residents might wander down to the beach, but that’s as far as they’ll get.

Dinosaurs are terrifying creatures no matter the era you find them in, but they were not made for the modern world. Some might be able to bite you in half, but they simply couldn’t survive outside of a delicately preserved artificial ecosystem with plenty of food available. While it’s theoretically possible to make a Jurassic park, maybe the question isn’t whether or not we could do it, but if we should.

Dinosaurs in our world are scary enough, but what if you ended up in theirs? How long could you hold out?