How to Survive Leatherface

4 min read

You came to Texas, America’s Lone Star State because you wanted the ranch experience. This wasn’t what you had in mind. A giant man wearing a mask made of human skin is chasing you, and he has a chainsaw. Unfortunately, it’s not for cutting trees. Oh, boy, this is gonna be a tough one.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre premiered in 1974. It starts off innocently enough with a young Sally Hardesty, her brother Franklin and a few of their friends making a road trip across the state. Needing gas for their van, they stop at a house to see if they have any to spare. Turns out this would be the worst idea they’d ever have, and the last for most of them.

Leatherface and his cannibalistic Sawyer family members brutally make a meal of everyone, except Sally. She makes it out of one of Hollywood’s scariest dinners alive. If you want to survive an encounter with Leatherface, keep watching. Which make-shift weapons would you need to fight him off? Why shouldn’t you trust strangers in his town? And listen carefully here. How could furniture save your life?

Step 1. Go for his throat

It’s a short list of people who have escaped the ruthless murderer and his sinister family throughout the movies. But that doesn’t mean that he Doesn’t have some weak spots. After all, he’s just a normal guy. (V.O. pause) I mean at least in terms of physical abilities outside the fact he’s a burly dude. He’s strong, but he doesn’t have superpowers. Just a taste for violence and human flesh. To start, keep as much space as you can between the two of you. Toss whatever you can get your hands on at him. Better yet, grab a pitchfork or shovel and let loose. The best areas to aim for are the throat and eyes. Even knocking that mask off might give you an edge while he fumbles around.

Step 2. Look for furniture

Leatherface’s weapon of choice is a chainsaw. The closer he gets to you, the higher the odds you’ll end up in his fridge waiting to be cooked. If my advice came a little bit too late and you’re standing face-to-leatherface with him while dangling meat hooks loom over you, pull yourself together before he cuts you apart. You’re still gonna need to avoid that chainsaw.

Locate objects around you and stay near them, this way it’ll be more difficult for him to maneuver his chainsaw around furniture compared to open space. Move tables, chairs, anything that you can put between you and him.

Step 3. Find some wheels

Wow, you successfully blocked that chainsaw. I’m impressed, but there’s no time to celebrate. You have to get as far away as you can, and fast. Leatherface lives in a secluded area so you need to get to a road and start running. Beware of strangers offering you a lift, since some of the locals might be Sawyer kin. Have you seen this movie? You know what we’re talking about then. Look for a car, a tractor, maybe even a bicycle. Anything that can move faster than the guy with a chainsaw behind you.

Step 4. Don’t look back

You’re not Leatherface’s only victim. You can tell because you saw a chair made of human bones and you’re pretty sure you heard someone screaming. Of course you want to go back to help them. Don’t. I know that sounds terrible, but trust me on this one. If you return, you’re entering the lair of a very angry serial killer whose only focus now is killing you.

You might not be the hero today, but at least you can live another day to tell the police what’s happened. You fought back and escaped Leatherface but he’s not the only creep with a mask that wants to murder you. Next up is Ghostface, the iconic slasher of the Scream movies. Have you made any enemies recently? Because it might be one of them hiding under that mask.