The binge-worthy, ultraviolent gameshow from Hell, Squid Game has become a worldwide media sensation and is quickly becoming Netflix’s biggest show yet.
With our minds being dominated by Squid Game’s lethal interpretations of children’s games, we can’t think of a better time to place a bet on our favorite player. You.
But don’t freak out. We’ll give you the tips you need to survive all six deadly games and get your hands on $38 million USD.
For those who aren’t already obsessing over Squid Game, here’s the rundown of what you’re getting yourself into. In the show, hundreds of debt-ridden players participate in a series of secret, highly organized and incredibly unsettling children’s games. The rules are simple. If a contestant wins all six games, they get 45.6 billion won. If they lose, they die.
Now it’s your turn to play. Make it to the end of six terrifying rounds, and the prize money is yours. Lose just one game and, well, you get the idea.
STEP 1: DON’T LOOK HER IN THE EYE
The game is Red Light, Green Light. This one plays just like the classic playground favorite, only a little more sinister.
When a giant, nightmare-inducing doll says “green light”, players must run toward the finish line. But be careful! As soon as the doll says “red light”, players must freeze in place. If it catches you moving, you’re eliminated. And when we say eliminated, we mean brutally shot.
Our strategy? Don’t look at the doll. Her haunting gaze is only going to throw you off your game. Since all the cues you need to look out for are auditory, the doll is nothing more than a visual distraction. A terrifying, haunt-you-in-your dreams kind of distraction. Instead, you need to focus on your feet and stability. We’d also recommend getting behind another player, preferably one that’s larger than you.
STEP 2: TREAT YOURSELF
“The Honeycomb Challenge is based on a popular South Korean game where a shape is pressed into the center of a very thin piece of toffee candy. The goal is to break the shape out of the candy without cracking it in the process. In Squid Game, players select one of four shapes — circle, triangle, star or umbrella.
They are then given ten minutes to use a tiny needle to cut the shape out of the brittle piece of honeycomb toffee. The catch is, you break it, you buy it. You know, in the sense that you bought the farm.
I know it sounds crazy, but maybe it’s time for a snack break. The candy is known to crack in a straight line.You could counteract this by licking the candy. As you continue to enjoy your life-or-death honey snack, your saliva will moisten the toffee, making it less fragile and easier to cut.
STEP 3: USE YOUR NOGGIN
Squid Game offers your classic Tug of War match, only with one major difference. A death drop of 305 meters (1,000 feet) for the losing team. The secret to making sure your team doesn’t go over the edge is brains over brawn. Start the challenge by positioning everyone on alternating sides of the rope while leaning back as far as possible.
Position your heaviest team member at the back of the rope to anchor it, and everyone plants their feet facing forward. This will counter the pulling motion from the other platform. Essentially, you’re holding fast while the other team is wearing themselves out. Letting you go for the final pull to win the game.
STEP 4: PLAY DIRTY
In this fatal Game of Marbles, players partner-up and are each given a pouch of ten. You have just 30 minutes to get your hands on all of your opponent’s marbles. Now, unless you’ve got a secret passion for dominating the playground game scene, we’d recommend you play dirty. The rules of the game don’t dictate specifically how to win, so your best option is to cheat, lie and manipulate your way into making your opponent literally lose their marbles.
Look, we know it’s pretty low, but between 20 marbles or a bullet… guess which one we’d choose?
STEP 5: WATCH YOUR STEP
You might want to take off your shoes for this one. The Glass Stepping Stones game sees contestants walking over a long bridge constructed from both strong, tempered glass and normal panels of glass. You know, the shatter-under-the-weight-of-a -human type of glass?
In a deadly game of trial and error, each player follows the other, with additional panels breaking as the bridge becomes cluttered with more players. This challenge comes down to dumb luck unless you’re holding some inside information. If you wanted to bend the rules, you could drop a knee and test the weight of a panel before committing.
Just don’t get caught though, these guys are sticklers for the rules.
STEP 6: KEEP YOUR COOL
Here it is, the final game. Squid Game is based on the Korean schoolyard contest between two teams attempting to take over the other’s territory. You do that, you win. It’s all about strategically thinking two steps ahead of your opponents while simultaneously outmaneuvering them.
When you twist it into a head-to-head death match, you’re not just battling over space on a court drawn in the sand, you’re fighting for your life — and some serious cash. Just remember not to let the last five games go to your head. You don’t want to lose your cool in the final game.
Congrats, you made it through all six games. Your prize? 45.6 billion won and years of therapy. And look, I know it got messy in there but this is How to Survive, not how to make friends, OK?
People can do some pretty crazy things when they’re desperate. Just think of the movie “The Purge”, for example, where society instituted one night a year where all crimes are legal. Do you think you’d have what it takes to make it through the night?
